I cycled past the bobcat who sat eight feet off the trail.
The squirrel wasn’t as lucky.
Copywright 2016 Betheny L. Reid
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Futile
Like moth to flame
I call my mother.
Copyright Betheny L. Reid
Remember I write fiction
Not the Usual Suburb
“Bobcat seen on Flintcove Lane, seeking babysitter.”
…hmmm, the posting on the neighborhood blog was a bit different today.
Be Willing To Close The Door
In the fullness of family
it is difficult to close the door
shut out the cry for “mommy”
and sit still.
There is no silence really
even when the door is shut.
Even if, somehow, everyone has agreed
to “quiet time”
doors are slammed
refrigerators are opened and closed.
Feet stomp loudly
even on carpeted floors.
Whispers are louder
than normal conversations.
The closed door becomes a symbol.
To Mom, it is a declaration of Self.
“Me time.” Recharge.
To the family, the closed door says,
“Rejection.”
No matter how much explanation.
No matter how many articles or books
are shown and read
about the restorative nature of “me time for moms,”
the family only sees an action no less cruel than
Abandonment.
If she manages to close the door for a while,
the family looks at her with questioning eyes
when she emerges to see
“how she’s changed.”
They seem concerned that they may
somehow no longer be in the same
order of importance in her life.
“Mom’s just not the same”
For Mom,though, that moment behind the door
was salvation.
The Longest Path
The longest path is the one between you and your loved one after the call saying that he is dying.
Idleness
“Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top.” – Virginia Woolf
Sit Still
Do not travel far to other dusty lands, forsaking your own sitting place; if you cannot find the Truth where you are now, you will never find it.-Dogen
Be Boundless
If we forgive life for not being what we told it to be, or expected, or wished, or longed for it to be, we forgive ourselves for not being what we might have been also. And then we can be what we are, which is boundless.
-John Tarrant
Embrace Difficulties
The Brook Would Lose Its Song If You Removed The Rocks- Brook Would Lose Its Song If You Removed The Rocks-
American Proverb
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
The alarm on my phone announces it’s 6 AM. Again.
I’m still exhausted.
Tick Tock
One of my cats stretches bedside me. The other one walks into the room.
They both stare.
“We’re ready for our breakfast .”
Tick Tock
I try to remember what day it is. How many meetings today?
My stomach tightens.
“Shit.”
Tick Tock
The routine starts.
I put the dinner table mats on the floor to signal the cats that food is on its way. One brushes my leg in thanks then sits on his mat and waits.
The other stretches again. Paces. Looks worried that he’ll somehow not be served. Anxiety left over from his early days at the shelter I guess.
Tick Tock
“Can I eat my cereal, drink coffee and read the paper before my young son wakes?”
Just looking for a few moments of me.
Tick Tock
He’s up. Cute. Happy. “Mommy come hug.”
Why would I want to resist?
Tick Tock
“We need to get going now.”
“Pancakes?” he asks.
I look at the clock.
“No time today.”
He gets his cereal.
I go dress for work.
Tick Tock
The rush to remember what goes into my backpack for work and his for school.
He’s put on shorts and a t-shirt (again). It’s cold and wet outside.
“Why don’t you step outside and see if you’ll be warm enough today.”
He does. He won’t. He changes clothes. Four times.
I’m anxious. I look at the clock. Wonder about the traffic. Maybe I yelled, “Hurry up.”
Tick Tock
Dropping him off. I know he likes learning, but talks too much for school rules. They’re not patient. Will we get another call from the Principal today?
“Bye. I love you, son.”
“Love you too.”
I watch him walk all the way to the door, ignoring the cars behind me.
I adore him.
Tick Tock
More bad news on the radio. “Why don’t I listen to music? Because I need to be informed.”
Lots of traffic. Cars are crawling. I call my assistant at work. We review the day, talk business, make decisions…we talk my…entire…drive…in.
Tick Tock
I rush into the office. My assistant waits at the door. She gives me meeting notes. I give her my backpack. The meetings start.
Every minute of the day is scheduled. Every minute.
Tick Tock
My husband picks up our son and takes him home where they start homework.
I stop at the grocery store to pick-up pre-made dinner.
On the drive I return business calls. Mostly leaving voice messages.
Tick Tock
Home.
Our son sets the table while I dish the food on plates.
My husband starts the laundry.
We sit down together with a candle burning in the center of our plates. (To calm us?)
We pause to give thanks.
They are finished eating their entire meal by the time I’ve had my third bite.
Tick Tock
Bathtime for everyone.
Reading time for everyone.
Tick Tock
Lights out.
I fall asleep (again) in my son’s room after reading to him.
Tick Tock
Our son is older.
He plays hockey.
We add it to the daily schedule. Every day. At the rink. Every day.
Tick Tock
We look for free wifi at the rink.
Laptops so we can work during practice and between games.
We are lined up in the bleachers with the other parents doing the same.
Tick Tock
We’ve rushed.
We’ve juggled.
We’ve stressed.
We’ve argued (not much though, whew)
We’ve laughed (much, fortunately)
We’ve loved.
We’ve bonded.
Tick Tock
Our son is grown.
We can hardly wait to see one another.
We enjoy each other.
Tick Tock
During all these years…
We made family.
BethenyReid 