Last spring, my 94 year old nextdoor neighbor, Euel, voluntarily turned in his car keys. “I’m concerned I’ll hurt someone or myself and I don’t want to risk that.”

Euel has been a widower about six years, but remained active driving to Denny’s each morning to see the “regulars” at breakfast, bowling with his long-time team and chairing the local Coca Cola Club meetings.

All that stopped when he quit driving.

It took a couple of weeks of his car not being parked in front of his house for me to realize something had changed. He told me he had made arrangements with a grand niece (the only relative in the state) to take him grocery shopping, the doctors and other errands. She was only coming by once a week though.

I take multiple short walks daily and so started knocking on his door once a day asking, “Do you want to take a walk?”

he was unsteady at first I decided it was the cane his doctor told him to use. Not sure who’s idea it was to put people on a cane for balance when the cane actually causes one to lean over.

So I went to REI and bought Euel trekking poles. He immediately stood straight and had much better balance. We walk not once, but twice a day now. He always says “yes” when I knock on the door.

He knows more about current events than most anyone you’ll meet, but we agreed we have to limit those talks because we are both horrified at what our country has become. So he tells stories and I listen to clues about what he wished he’d done to be better prepared to be ninety-four.

His first lesson: Keep Up With Technology. Euel has not. He has an old computer and basically can only look at existing files. he’s not updated the program and so can’t view most of what he searches.

He has a flip phone and struggles to see who’s calling and how to return the call.

He can’t order Uber or Lyft or Door Dash.

In short, he is radically dependent upon others for everything. He knows that not such a good thing.

Other neighbors have noticed I take walks with Euel and their reactions have been interesting:

-One said, “You’re making us look bad, Betheny.”

-Another said, “I don’t really know what to do around old people.”

-A third has started taking him to the market with her each week and asks him to walk on the days when I’m out of town.

I remember Euel’s Lesson #1 : Keep Up With Technology each time I want to be lazy and have my husband or son do something on the computer for me because I can’t figure it out.

Ugh, but good for my future.